Perú Panorama

Day 1 (18 October 2008)
London, Miami, Lima

I wake at 05.00 to the sound of three alarms. Twenty-five hours later I am crashing in a bed on the other side of the world. It’s the furthest I’ve ever travelled and I’ve finally made it to South America!

I’ve already had a few moment of panic; my cards don’t work in Miami International Airport and I’ve completely forgotten to bring documentation that proves I’ve had the yellow fever inoculation. HSBC sort me out with some dollars and soles (I dread to think how much that’s gonna cost me) but my calls to the NHS are fruitless; there is no way of accessing my records until Monday, so I need to keep my fingers crossed until then.

The flights are easy; despite being surrounded by dozens of Orlando-bound families and screaming kids, I block them out with a trio of films; Hancock, Get Smart and (ashamedly) Sex and the City.

I’ve already surprised myself with my Spanish. I can understand a lot and I’ve gaining confidence speaking which is helpful, as even Miami feels like South America; everyone there (staff included) is speaking Spanish as their first language. It’s crazy that as an American, you’d actually feel like you’re in a foreign country!

A shockingly cheap taxi ride and my driver finds my hotel in the Miraflores area of Lima, despite him having what I’m convinced is a severe case of short-sightedness. Nonetheless, I’m safely here, in the capital of Perú and I’m raring to explore.

Day 2 (19 October 2008)
Lima

I wake in the City of Kings and I have a day to cram this capital city intro my memory. I’m in Miraflores, the commercial hub which is littered with parks, sports grounds and the main beaches of Lima.

I walk southbound through Parque Kennedy and I’m surprised how quiet it is. I reach the coast by about 08.00 and discover the Parque del Amor. The mosaic wall follows the coastline but is dominated by the huge (‘El Beso’) sculpture, of a couple kissing. There is a single couple replicating the sculpture but after a quick exploration of the craggy coast, the park is soon being invaded by tourists.

It’s a three kilometre walk back north before I reach the pyramids of Huaca Pucllana. It’s a huge shrine built with adobe bricks whose Wari architecture has outlasted centuries of erosion and earthquakes. It was used as a religious site and 1,500 years ago was host to human sacrifices and as a cemetery for the ‘lucky’ chosen ones. It’s very impressive and the tour also includes a walk through a small farming area, which is home to hairless dogs, vibrant guinea pigs (which I hope to eat later on this trip) and a pair of mating llamas. The female looks unimpressed and the male is hardly playing up for the cameras; in fact, they look rather bored.

I’m shown some local varieties of plant, including one which has hallucinogenic pins. Hmm… perhaps it’s a little early on the trip for that, but I think it would go down a treat for the two llamas!

It’s about 8km to the centre of Lima, so I hail a cab who drives like a lunatic to get me there for the haggled price. Taxis are in abundance; you can’t walk a block without a taxi honking its horn at you to see if you want a lift. Either that, or they just all fancy me.

I arrive in Plaza de Armas just in time for the changing of the guards. I’m only here for a day so I’m extremely luck to witness this long and brilliantly choreographed display. The Palacia de Gobierno is armed by guards with machine guns and on every corner there is a huge tank with armed soldiers on the alert.

After lunch and a delicious ice cream, I wander around the streets aimlessly, taking in the buzzing area. It feels like a European city centre and it’s only the strong October sun and dry Rio Rimac that reminds me I’m south of the equator.

The Covent San Francisco is an enormous complex which combines a church, courtyard, library and fantastic catacombs. The only disappointment is the ban on photography, especially as the dusty light spilling through the library skylight would have been a keeper. The catacombs were very impressive too, especially the 10m deep well, full of skulls and bones with an artistic symmetrical shape of remains at the top.

My next Peruvian taxi driver is pretty crazy. He wants to talk all the way, which is great Spanish practice, but when he has difficulty explaining the meaning of a word, he shows me with hand movements; as the car starts swerving across the lanes of traffic, I have to quickly reassure him that I understand! So far, I’ve found the locals warm and friendly. I don’t know if that’s because I’m trying in Spanish or whether they really embrace tourism, but I’m happy either way.

I meet an English girl who has just finished the two week trip that I’m about to start and she was unfortunate to have rain at Machu Picchu, but despite this she said that every second was unforgettable. So, it’s good to meet my new friends as our guide introduces himself and talks us through the plan for the forthcoming adventure.

We’re a group of nine; a couple from Vancouver, another from Cork, two girls from Gothenborg, a lady from Stockholm and a girl from Australia. Our guide, Jose, takes us for dinner to get to know each other. It’s a great evening in a restaurant overlooking the choppy-looking Pacific and after stuffing myself with the largest chocolate cake in the world, we make our way back to the hotel.

Day 3 (20 October 2008)
Lima, Cusco, Juliaca, Puno

Today was the day I was dreading; I suffer from some serious altitude sickness and all that’s going through my mind is that I’m ruining my trip and missing things I’ll never get to see again. It starts with a bus to the airport to catch our flight to Juliaca, stopping at Cusco on the way. Cusco is around 3,200m and I’m not sure if it’s my mind playing tricks on me, but the moment they open the cabin doors I feel short of breath. The pain kicks in about half way to Juliaca and I’m covered in a freezing cold sweat and I’m absolutely convinced I’m going to be sick. The others say turbulence was bad, but I don’t remember that, I just rush for the airport toilet on our arrival.

Our next mode of transport is a small bus and I’m now starting to feel really nauseous. Even though I’m longing to look out of the window to see the Peruvian landscape, I lie down and suffer in silence. We stop once and I force myself outside for fresh air and a photo but despite the stunning view (with llama!) it doesn’t help me at all.

We’re at around 3,800m in this town, the highest I’ve ever been in my life and my body just doesn’t know how to cope. We’re meeting at 19.00 to go through tomorrow’s agenda so I crawl out of bed and with head in hands I listen to all the unbelievable things I know I’m going to miss tomorrow.

The others are great; all of them are sympathetic and offering me drugs left right and centre. However, I fell even worse and I run to the toilet and projectile vomit all over the place. It’s like the world’s worst hangover and the flu all at once.

It’s about 16.00 and I’m straight to bed in our hotel in Puno. I’m told that Coca Tea and five minutes with an oxygen tank will help, so I force the tea down but I’ve absolutely no appetite and I’m sure that I’m instigating a second vomiting session. Fortunately, the oxygen is a treat; every breath clears my head and I’m practically begging the staff to let me keep it!

I’m straight back to bed and despite a few visits from my drug fairies, I’m a shivering wreck alone in bed for the rest of the night.

Day 4 (21 October 2008)
Puno, Isla Taquile, Isla Amantani

What a difference a day makes! I have an awful night’s sleep and I feel like I’ve been on an all night bender, but I’m feeling much better. I’ve a cracking headache but that’s probably due to a lack of food and water.

Breakfast is good and every bite I take is a tiny cure. The others all slept badly too, some feel like they have a cold, others are short of breath and most also have this splitting headache. I’m incredibly lucky; it seems that I missed some trips to the pharmacy, a brief tour around Puno (which we also have time for on Day 5) and a meal in the evening. I’m literally praying that I have no more severe symptoms and I wouldn’t wish my experience on anyone else, so I stock up on drugs and set off with the others.

We’re in for a treat; a frantic pedal powered taxi ride to the port is so much fun; we’re weaving in and out of the traffic as our drivers practically race us to the docks of Lake Titicaca.

It’s a four hour boat ride to Isla Taquile. The scenery is sublime and sitting on the roof of the boat is fantastic, with the strong sunshine and the strong rush of air blowing into my lungs, it’s like I’m making up for the shortage of oxygen for the past 24 hours.

It’s a relatively steep ascent to the top of the island and it’s my first taste of the stereotypical Peruvian locals. Loud colour and faces that must have years of stories look perfect with the stunning Lake Titicaca in the backdrop.

I’m feeling better by the minute and despite some stomach issues (which really isn’t pleasant when there is no flush and you have to put used paper in a bin next to the toilet…) I feel good at the 4,000m summit.

We have a great lunch of soup then fresh fish from the lake and after another dash to the toilet, we climb down the other side of the island where our boat is waiting. We’re all absolutely exhausted and we’ve only walked about 1km! We’re all saying the same thing: How the hell are we going to manage the 40km Inca Trek!?

Another hour on the lake and our enthusiastic guide tells us that Lake Titicaca (Titi Q’aqa) means Puma Stone in the local Quechua language. He jokes that the Spanish speaking Peruvians say that the Peruvian side of the lake is called Titi and Bolivian side is called Caca! Of course, the Bolivians say the opposite!

On the next island we will meet some locals who will be our families for the night. A large group of young girls, with brightly coloured clothes, welcome us to Isla Amantani. We are soon paired up and since I’m the odd one out on this tour, I get to join our guide, Jose, with Rosita, who takes us up the hill to meet the Familia Flores. The house is big and I even get my own room with a concrete hard bed and a mountain of locally made blankets which should help through the cold night. After all, at around 4,000m this is the highest point at which I’ll sleep on this trip.

We’re quickly taken to the top of the island at around 4,100m. All the locals gather here each evening and there’s a small, concrete football pitch surrounded by cafe bars and the local primary school.

It’s a daily ritual for the locals to challenge all the tourists and I can barely believe how different I feel to last night, so I’m quick to volunteer. The locals are on man short, so I join the Peruvians and run around (albeit very slowly!) at 4,100m. It’s an experience I’ll never forget.

We relax with teas and hot chocolates (some are mad enough to have alcohol!) before the descent back to our adopted families.

I join the Familia Flores for dinner, which comprises of a pretty good soup starter followed by a bland stew and rice main course. The family is made up of the father (a carpenter), the mother, grandmother (who is about 65 and doesn’t speak Spanish) and Rosita who is 15 years old. The other three daughters are studying in Puno, which is where the father lives most of the time. The kitchen is simple and the family sit on stools eating their food with smiles on their faces. It’s a unique experience.

Before I know it, I’m dragged back up the hill (I can’t begin to describe how quickly you get out of breath at this altitude) and our group all meet up for an evening fiesta. The island is pitch black and it allows a stunning view of the stars, something I’m determined to capture on film before the end of the trip.

We dance with the locals and the songs seem to last forever as we struggle to breath and keep up with the young locals! Once again it’s a fabulous moment and my prayers were answered that I recovered so quickly to experience such a great day.

Day 5 (22 October 2008)
Isla Amantani, Islas Uros, Puno

I wake up and can barely believe I’ve been sleeping on an island at 4,000m on the other side of the world. Once again I’m sitting in my adopted family’s kitchen and I watch the mother prepare pancakes using a fire and simple utensils that could have been used hundreds of years ago. They only make pancakes for the tourists and normally live off the garden for themselves. I drink loads of Coca tea; even though I feel fine, I want to minimise any chances of further altitude sickness.

I give the family a couple of presents as a thank you and I also buy the chullo that they lent me for last night’s fiesta. I’ve seen better (and cheaper) ones elsewhere, but it means more to me to have this one.

I’ve taken photos of the family and I’d love for them to have copies. They have practically no ‘unnecessay’ possessions and I would hope that they would like them. Since there’s obviously no post, Jose says that if I send them to him, he can ensure they reach them.

After goodbyes, I meet the rest of the group by the lakeside, where there are dozens of locals trading food which has just arrived from Puno by boat. It’s unbelievable to watch such simple lifestyles when not far away is a town with all the modern conveniences. The population of such communities is diminishing; children go to secondary school in Puno and then never want to return. Fortunately for these islands, there are enough people who like the idea of no taxes, no crime and living by the three rules: “Do not steal, do not be idle, do not lie.”

We’re back on the boat for three hours to reach Islas Uros. Once again, the views are amazing, especially as we approach these unreal man-made floating islands.

As I take my first step on one of the islands, my feet sink a few centimetres. The water is about 30m deep and I’m standing on 2m of reed branches. The ‘ground’ must constantly be relayed as the old branches rot into the river. It’s unthinkable that these people live in huts made of branches when they know what other options there are in life. Saying that, ever single local seems happy. From children playing with sticks to elders comfortably watching the world go by.

Declan and Tiff row us to another island and there’s even a chance to stroke a pet condor; Declan and I are the only ones to volunteer and we’re blown away by its huge wingspan and strong beak.

We jump back in our boat which quickly gets use back to Puno and I get to do all the things I missed on Day 3. The markets are fun, especially the haggling and watching Aileen in action. Most store owners are old women and they knit away whilst their children play around with random objects. It’s all so simple and yet so normal to them.

Puno itself is quite nice in the very centre and the streets are crammed with school kids in the their military-looking uniforms. Later, we have dinner and a few of us stay on for a quick Pisco Sour, which would be massively tempting as the beginning of a big session, if it wasn’t for the fact we’re still at 3,800m. Tomorrow is another early start so it’s yet another early bed time.

Day 6 (23 October 2008)
Puno, Cusco

Today was always going to be a day of travelling. It’s about a six hour bus drive from Puno to Cusco but it’s confirmed what we were warned about last night: The farmers near Cusco are striking and have blocked the main road. Anyone who tries to pass will be attacked with rocks and stones.

It means a detour that lasts around 10 hours. Fortunately the detour is a cross-country, gravel track through the mountains proving beautiful views and a chance to see the real Peru. The difference between the lives of the town and country Peruvians is stark. Locals watch in awe as a busload of tourists drive by and children wave and run alongside the bus.

The route also takes us higher that anywhere I’ll be on this trip at over 4,300m at Lake Layo. Strangely, much of the landscape actually looks like Scotland’s Highlands; just a lot bigger! Some mountains have snow and there are others that remind me of the red, wavy-looking Atlas Mountains in Morocco. One ascent is particularly fun; the road is throwing the bus all over the place and the cliff edge is becoming ever so much closer to our tyres. But it’s worth it as the view from the top is outstanding and it turns a long bus trip into a bus adventure, especially on the few occasions we get stuck in the road.

Nonetheless, 10 hours in 10 hours and I’m grateful for my ipod as we crawl northbound towards Cusco. We finally arrive and I’m impressed with Cusco’s centre. It’s incredibly touristy, but the huge square and Spanish-looking buildings give it lots of character.

We visit the great cathedral before going for dinner, by which time I’m exhausted so I’m pleased to hit the sack in what is probably our best hotel yet.

Day 7 (24 October 2008)
Cusco, Saqsaywaman, Pisaq, Urubamba, Ollantaytambo

Two days in a row I’ve woken without a headache so I hope this means I’m finally used to this altitude. First thing I need to do is pack a maximum of 6kg for the porters to carry on the Inca Trek. This includes my mattress and sleeping bag, so it looks like I’m gonna absolutely stink over the next few days! The porters carry 25kg (including my 6kg) so I feel I’ll do well if I cope with my 12kg of camera gear: I’d better get some good shots!

First stop today us a bus ride up the valley hills which gives a fantastic view of Cusco. The next thing to see is Saqsaywaman, which means Satiate Falcon in Quechua, but I prefer to say it with a Jamaican accent.

Pisaq is the next destination for lunch but the road travels through the Sacred Valley, which offers stunning scenery and is the agricultural hub for the Cusco region.

The restaurant seems out of place; it’s a great buffet but the place is full of tourists. I think we’ve eaten relatively well but I guess travelling with a group hardly means we’ve going to be trying local eateries. Mind you, in this restaurant we’re kept entertained by the miserable bastard who serves the puddings, who we nickname “Asshole”.

Urubamba is the next small town and we stop for a demonstration of how Chicha is prepared and, more importantly, how it is drunk! The traditional Chicha is disgusting, we all agree on that; but the strawberry one goes down a treat and it’s only the knowledge of being at 3,800m that stops me drinking more!

Arriving in Ollantaytambo, I cant help but see the enormous Inca ruins. I’ve seen a few already but this is so well preserved that you can really appreciate the amazing architecture. We climb it in the blistering sun and from the top we can see a film crew filming a new tv series (“Eldorado”). After exploring the ruins, conquered so easily by the Spanish, we approach the crew and I’m shocked how close we get. I’m a couple of steps away from the main cast, including Shane West who apparently is well known, but I’ve never heard of him!

It’s dinner, then back to the hotel in Ollantytambo, for my last night’s sleep before the adventure I’ve been looking forward to more than anything else in my life.

Day 8 (25 October 2008)
Ollantaytambo, Piskacuchu, Yunkachimpa

It’s tough. I’ve completed the first day of the four day Inca Trek, from Piskacuchu (“Point 82km”) to the campsite at Yunkachimpa. It’s not too far and there are only a few steep ascents bu the weight of my camera gear is obscene. The porters somehow carry double and used to carry around 70kg before restrictions and regulations came to force six years ago, so I count myself lucky.

We’ve hiked for six hours and the scenery is very impressive. Our starting point was at 2,500m and we’re now camping at (a very cold) 3,100m, so although we’re high, we’ve only at what seems like the base of the Andes.

There are checkpoints throughout the trek where we all meet and locals (I must admit I didn’t think anyone lived in this are) sell chocolates, soft drinks and alcohol for the brave!

We’re also spoilt; for the 11 hikers (Dan and Anna from England have joined us), we have over 20 porters, Breakfast, lunch and dinner is served and although it’s welcome, it feels a bit of a cheat.

Nonetheless, we’re all exhausted, so when it starts to absolutely chuck it down with deafening thunder, we call it a night.

Day 9 (26 October 2008)
Yunkachimpa, Dead Woman’s Pass, Paqaymayo

It’s a dreadful start to the day as Declan and Aileen must return to Cusco. Dec has been sick all night needs a horse to take him back. He’s pale as a sheet and understandably gutted. He either has experience some awful altitude sickness or, more likely, got food poisoning.

It serves as a reminder to the rest of us that this could happen to anyone and we need to everything possible to minimise such bad luck. So, we head off slowly and get even slower, as we meander up the mountains, between the wooded areas and through the clouds. It’s a real killer day and I cant describe the satisfaction in reaching the 4,200m summit, with glorious views at Dead Woman’s Pass.

It took five hours to reach the top so it’s an enormous relief that the last two hours is a (steep) descent to our second campsite, Paqaymayo. Here, there are even shower facilities, but since we’re up at 3,700m, they are obscenely cold. It’s a refreshing way to end the day and relax in the campsite, surrounded by the enormous Andes and listening to the waterfalls in the distance.

Day 10 (27 October 2008)
Paqaymayo, Runkuraway, Sayacmarca, Phuyupatamarca

I sleep fantastically and wake at 06.00 in my solo tent. I’m very lucky to have a tent to myself as a solo traveller should be sharing, but I’m the spare one in an odd-numbered group.

Today is a day of ups and downs, bizarre weather, diverse geography and another injury. It starts with a steep ascent, but I’m full of energy today and I find it considerably easier than yesterday so I reach the Runkuraqay High Pass quite quickly. Still, it’s steep ascents like this that make the Inca Marathon story even more impressive: Every year the porters race across the full length of the Inca Trek, which is the same distance as a marathon. Incredibly, the record is 3h15m! It still baffles me now to think about it.

The next section is downhill, passing the impressive Sayacmarca Inca site and down towards our lunch meeting point. The diversity is unreal. It rained from 17.00 yesterday, all night and was still raining up to the 3,900m peak today. The other side of the mountain is called Cloud Forrest and it’s obvious why. The landscape is suddenly jungle-like and the clouds hover over the entire route, with mountains eerily disappearing and reappearing within a matter of seconds.

Just a kilometre or so later, we emerge from the jungle and the sun hits like a burning furnace. The weather is so unpredictable and so random, it means two people travelling 30 minutes apart would have an entirely different experience.

However, disaster strikes our group again as on the descent from the Runkuraqay High Pass, behind me I hear a scream of pain from Mathilda and the few of us near her rush to help. Fortunately, Dan and Anna are doctors and they are confident that it is just a sprain, but she’s in agony and has to reach the meeting point with the help of others. News travels fast and the porters react quickly: She has no choice as they prepare to actually carry her to the next camping point! It’s a few kilometres of undulating, rocky ground, much of which around narrow paths with sheer cliff drops and yet the two porters who take turns carrying her are practically jogging all the way! It’s unbelievable how strong they are and how sure they are of their own footing.

The views today are the best yet. I feel like we’re deep in the mountains especially looking across the jungle landscape from the Saqyacmarca Inca ruins. The last few kilometres were absolutely breathtaking. The narrow undulating path is easy to walk but I’m stopping every few steps for photos.

The campsite is also on a spectacular mountain peak and you can see for miles in all directions and it’s today that makes the trek worth it.

It’s Leah’s birthday and the porters have a surprise; as we sit in our cold communal tent, they bring out a huge birthday cake! The food the chefs have prepares has been amazing, but to manage to bake a cake with utensils they have carried for 35km is nothing short of brilliant! At 19.30 it’s time for an extremely early night. We’re still at 3,600m and there’s a long descent to 2,500m tomorrow.

Day 11 (28 October 2008)
Phuyupatamarca, Wiñaywayna, Machupicchu, Waynapicchu, Cusco

It’s an incredibly early 02.45 wake-up. We leave at 03.00 in the pitch blackness and some people aren’t too happy about it. It’s mainly my fault as when we were told that we were staying in a campsite two hours behind most other trekkers, I was gutted and asked if we could leave earlier to catch up. No one complained then but nearly everyone is annoyed now.

I actually find walking in the dark quite easy; my torch lights the next couple of steps I need to take and it’s all downhill. Unfortunately, not everyone has a torch so the pace is painfully slow. Furthermore, we have two more injuries: Kim’s knees are shot to pieces and Tiff has pain in one knee as well. Since we’ve only one guide, Victor refuses to let me walk ahead. It’0s understandable but so frustrating as the two hour hike to Wiñaywayna ends up taking four hours. It’s therefore 07.00 and we’re at the point at which most trekkers left two hours ago. I’m livid but there’s nothing that can be done, but what doesn’t help is that despite the fact we are just 6km away from Machu Picchu, people are happy to stop and have breakfast. Our guide, Victor, says it’s the strangest thing he’s seen in the 500 times he has done this trek.

We finally set off at 07.30 and finally we’re allowed to go at our own pace. I can hear the train at the bottom of the valley and it pains me to know that I’ll arrive when hundreds of people are already there. We’re told it’s an hour and half to reach the Sun Date of Machu Picchu but I’m determined to get there as quickly as possible. It takes me just 40 minutes. Words can’t describe my feelings as I climb the final few steps, walk through the Sun Gate and get my first view of Machu Picchu. I’m overwhelmed with emotion and burst into tears. It’s the happiest moment of my life.

I’ve really enjoyed travelling with the group and I wouldn’t change that at all, but to travel the last part on my own means I’m left with my own thoughts and makes the experience so much more personal. I’m blessed with great weather and I make my way down the mountain, unable to keep my eyes off this unbelievable site.

Inevitably, there are tourists everywhere, including those non-trekkers who just stay in hotels just a 30 minute drive away. It’s a strange feeling as I resent them being here and I don’t feel they deserve to be. However, I’m confident there is no way in the world they would have the same joy has those who have done the trek.

Of course, it’s time for photos and after the obvious postcard shots, I take some of my ‘Project Jump’ photos. I’m wearing my Superman t-shirt (I couldn’t resist!) and some Americans cheer me with each jump, asking for more and more! It’s very funny but inevitable attracts the wrong attention. A security guard isn’t impressed and tells me off, but as he approaches, he notices my tripod and camera lenses. He immediately assumes I’m not just a tourist and says I need a permit to take photos. He says I need to go to the main entrance and get a professional photo permit: It costs $7,000!!

My rusty Spanish gets me out of trouble and I keep a low profile until the rest of the group arrive, just before 10.00. Group shots over, we’re told we only have enough time for a two hour tour, or to climb the dauntingly-looking Waynapicchu. Everyone chooses the tour except me. It’s a shame I miss the tour but the view from the peak of Waynapicchu is stunning and the best of the hike. The climb is tough; nearly all steep steps on narrow paths on cliff edges. It even involves crawling through a small cave, dragging my camera bag behind me. The top is full of photographers, standing precariously on the huge rocks that seem to defy gravity. I stay for 20 minute before meeting the group back near the train station, at the base of the mountain.

The journey home involves a train and a bus and my first view of Machu Picchu keeps running through my mind. I don’t know why it has affected me so much; I’m just so joyful that I’ve seen the site that I’ve wanted to see more than anything else in the world.

Day 12 (29 October 2008)
Cusco

Most people today have stomach problems. I’ve pretty much been like that the whole trip, but last night’s guinea pig seems to have solidified a few things!

It’s a day of relaxation, following the 45km Inca trek. Some sleep, some go shopping and I join a few at a local Cusco market, which sells everything under the sun. Some people don’t like to be photographed, whilst others lap it up, including the lady who arranges the pig heads symmetrically for me! Everything is cheap, from freshly made pineapple juice (delicious) to the lamb being skinned in front of my eyes.

I spend much of the rest of the day in bars and restaurants. Cusco is pretty, in particular the main square, but I’m constantly approached by people selling things, from finger puppets to hats and jumpers, and from massages to weed and cocaine (“no problemo amigo – la policía no está aquí!”)

The massage sounds just like what I need and I search around for a deal. However, I need to be careful; if the massage price is too good it means it’s not actually a massage! I haggle one price down for an hour’s full body massage. It’s frighteningly cheap and if it was any cheaper I think she would “massage me long time”!

We have a few drinks in the evening accompanied by pizza and live Peruvian music and also check out the highest Irish bar in the world. It’s then a slightly more respectful 23.00 bedtime to prepare for tomorrow’s flight to the Amazon jungle!

Day 13 (30 October 2008)
Cusco, Tambopata National Reserve

Landing in Puerto Maldonado is like being in a different country on the other side of the world. It’s 34 degrees Celsius and the humidity makes me sweat like a pig within minutes.

It’s not long before I see my first tarantula; there are two of them on the ceiling, motionless and looking evil!

It’s an hour by bus on a dusty track surrounded by thick jungle, until we reach the Rio Tambopata in a village called Infierno (so-called due to the ridiculous heat and surplus number of mosquitoes!) at which point we take a canoe-style boat for another hour southbound. Climbing the river banks and walking ten minutes through the jungle, the narrow path guides us to the Posada Amazonas Lodge. It’s quite a large complex, built from wood and ropes and it’s truly impressive. Rooms are open to the wild with just net curtains protecting the beds at night. We’re not just open to the wild either; since rooms are built with bamboo, you can hear every sound form the neighbours as if the walls were non-existent. It makes for some interesting toilet trips!

Dusk is approaching so we trek for 20 minutes through the jungle, spotting giant ants, butterflies everywhere and listen to the sound of monkeys echoing through the trees. Even the trees themselves are amazing; my favourite being the walking (yes – walking!) trees that look like they are upside down with dozens of trunks, new ones growing all the time allowing it to move up to 10cm every year!

We reach the viewing tower, which shakes like crazy as we climb nearly 40m, but the view above the canopy is sublime. It really hits home how deep and mysterious the jungle is. The sun dips behind the horizon and we climb down into darkness and find our way back to the lodge and sleep with nature all around.

Day 14 (31 October 2008)
Tambopata National Reserve

It stays warm throughout the night and I sleep very well, with the calming natural noises of the jungle in the background! Nonetheless, it’s a 04.00 start in order to make our way to some lakes nearby.

The jungle is all about seeing the wildlife and although we see five otters (of which you are normally lucky to see one), the birds just don’t show up. So it’s time to go piranha fishing instead!

The guides catch a few yellow-bellied ones but no one else has any luck. I’m determined and try again and again, but the little buggers keep eating all the steak I’m throwing at them without taking the hook!

At this point, the rain forest sticks by its name and it absolutely chucks it down. It means our visit to the clay licks is delayed and we can’t see the parrots and macaws that normally come in their hundreds.

Instead, back at the lodge, we chill and watch the brilliant dusty titi monkeys and the awesome howling monkeys, that sound like cheeky teenagers wetting themselves with laughter!

After dinner is our night walk. I’ve been looking forward to this but within two minutes I’m totally freaked out. It doesn’t help that it’s Halloween today! The jungle is like a completely different place at night; insects glow, the evil ones lurk and ever sound creeps me out! Furthermore, Keith and Naomi (another Canadian couple) find an enormous tarantula in their bathroom and it’s ridiculously fat, hairy and fast!

One the night walk, I like the sleepy-looking Phyllomedusa palliata frog, but apparently it is obscenely poisonous. The caiman is like a small crocodile but it’s super quick and looks like it could take your hand off – not good when it’s pitch black and they can grow as big as me! There’s a great wolf spiderweb, guarded by its creator, which yet again is poisonous and it’s at head height just one metre from the path, so one step in the wrong direction could cause all kinds of problems!

Other insects are enormous and look like made up creatures from sci-fi films. I even see glowing green eyes as an insect flies around me head; you just can’t make this stuff up!

Back in the lodge I have candles everywhere and check ever step to ensure I’m not barefoot treading on a fat, hairy tarantula! After double checking my bed (!) I settle down to my last night in the jungle.

Day 15 (1 November 2008)
Tambopata National Reserve, Cusco, Lima

At 04.00 there’s a tiny knock on my bamboo wall. It’s time for bird-watching and involves a 15 minute walk to the clay licks. Despite the lack of rain, it’s still wet from yesterday and totally the wrong conditions to see the hundreds of parrots. It’s a shame I’ve missed this spectacle, but worth the try.

A trek, boat ride ad bus journey later (I do like the sign that says buses are not permitted to cross the bridge with passengers as it may collapse!) and we’re back at Puerto Maldonado for the flight to Lima, stopping briefly at Cusco.

We’re in for a treat on the final evening. After all, a visit to South America isn’t complete without a football match! Jose’s Cusco-based team Cienciano is playing the league champions (Universitario) who are the richest team in Lima. The game doesn’t disappoint. Two goals, a yellow card every few minutes, two red cards (including one of Cienciano’s coach who is practically scrapping with the ref!) and of course, the mosh-pit style violence in the stands! We shelter in the “expensive” seats (30 soles which is about $10!) just metres away from camera crew and injured players. Despite the 80,000 seat stadium being half empty, the atmosphere is everything I hoped it would be, living up to the South American football reputation. It’s a good taster for my potential future visit to Boca versus River!

It’s all goodbyes at dinner and I settle down for my last night in Peru.

Day 16 (2 November 2008)
Lima, Miami, London

I arrive at Lima’s airport and meet Mark, an Englishman who is part of the ‘other’ Gap Adventures group. There has been an unspoken rivalry between the two groups and it’s a great shame.

Over some beer, Mark tells me all about his group as we we sit in Miami airport. With 15 people in their three week trip, it was a great chance for more fun had we merged when we met in Puno. It also turns out that Jose (our guide) was even better than we thought. Theirs acted stoned all the time, tried to sleep with all the girls and even made them pay for airport taxes and other fees that were already part of the trip’s cost.

I then have further problems with the airport staff (seriously – what the hell is wrong with these people!?) as the waitress tries to rip me off with the beer prices. I complain to the manager and he says I don’t have to pay the bill. Free beer! What a way to end a holiday!

Our guide was fantastic; a great guy who turned our Peruvian trip into an adventure. My special thanks to Jose and all of the great people in our group for a journey I will never forget.

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I’ve financed this trip, but taking the opportunity to raise some money for Parkinson’s Disease Society. I’m therefore hoping as many people as possible will sponsor the 45km Inca Trail hike (www.justgiving.com/carlobezoari). All money donated will go directly to Parkinson’s Disease Society. Please give generously!
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